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I’m so sorry for your loss, JoAnn. I lost my Mom this past September to cancer. Because of COVID, I couldn’t be there with her and be with my Dad. (They are in their late 80s) I would play guitar over the phone for her (she was my biggest fan in all things art and music). After she died, I couldn’t touch my guitar and had no desire to play. It was simply too painful. I had to walk through that period, free of my own judgment and expectations. Grief takes it’s many forms and for me, that meant a break from guitar. About 5 months ago, I started playing again.
Your time may vary, but be gentle with yourself. Grief is a roller coaster ride. The first set of holidays were surreal. It doesn’t get better so much as it gets different (me and my Dad share this experience of our grief).