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This is yet another great post you have made here.
There is a lot to digest there, partly because as I read thru it, I have to take quite a few time-outs to see that I’m quite similar– (yeah- scary).
I think I’m missing the TAC program a bit, because- (mainly unlike you?)- I feel like I do better/learn better when I have a clear plan given to me….. a task in front of me….. a boulder to push up the mountain.
For me it seems that once a person gets a little bit beyond “beginner”, maybe takes a few courses or classes– expanding their knowledge by a good amount, and also maybe writes a few tunes…….. things “change”. You begin to experiment with new things and also with things you already know. There is now a whole new world out there!!!!!
But all of this “new” can lead to too many choices, and possibly then, no clear path. So, another “practice” of random, unsatisfying, unproductive, noodling-around. Blah.
Which, to me anyway, is far worse than having a clear set of “assignments” that TAC gave me. Thinkin’ I shoulda stayed on…….