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@Hop you very well may be over-doing things on the strings… Most people use up way too much energy by pressing too hard on the strings. This just makes your entire fretting hand tense up and that can make everything more difficult. It also pulls your note sharp when you fret with too much pressure. Perhaps the reason Tony P. looks so relaxed when he plays is that he only uses the minimal pressure to avoid buzzing.
Some suggested exercises for you would be to try some drills without even using your thumb on the back of the neck. (I did this when I had tendonitis in my fretting hand thumb). Doing this makes your other fingers realize just how lightly they need to press to get a clean tone. You really don’t need the vice grip from behind with your thumb and letting that go helps you play alot more relaxed.
The other exercise I’d suggest would be to do the “spider exercise” but for each note you play, keep on that note while fretting with less and less pressure each time, until you get a buzz. The one right before the buzz is your minimal fretting pressure (MFP). That will eventually make it into your muscle memory and you will never be clinching down on the neck with your fretting hand. Play relaxed, play better.
Hope that all makes sense. Enjoy and have fun!!!! C