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@Mark my first advice for you is to hang on to your very intelligent and loving wife. What a wonderful Christmas story, thank you for sharing that beautiful update!!
My second advice for you is to agree with whoever said to learn your wife’s favorite song on the 12 string and play it for her. (There’s always next Christmas to think about, hahaha)
The rest of my advice, is to be patient with yourself and just keep practicing. A 12 string is played exactly like a 6 string, so you just have to build bigger callouses on your fretting fingers (Have you seen the double grooves in your fingertips yet?) and you need much greater left hand and finger strength which have to be built up over time. Most 12 string players keep the entire guitar tuned down either a half step (capo on 1st fret to be in standard tune) or tune down a whole step (capo on 2nd fret to be in standard tune). This decreases the tension on all the strings, making it easier for the left hand to fret the notes, (barre chords are a whole new ballgame on a 12-er), and it also decreases the action which also makes it easier to fret the notes. Bonus benefit, the frets aren’t as far apart with the capo which also makes it easier to reach the chord shapes.
One huge head’s up is that it’s really really hard to play fingerstyle on a 12 string. It’s very difficult for the right hand to pluck both strings in each pair. Which is fine, but you get robbed of the harplike sound of the 12 string and might as well be playing a 6 string, So most 12 string players are flat pickers and pick strummers. That really showcases the beautiful chimey signature sound of a 12 string… I truly appreciate any musician who is skilled at playing a 12 string fingerstyle, because I have experienced how super difficult that is!! This is the reason I was motivated to learn to play with a pick, haha!!!!
Hope some of this was helpful, and glad you had a very merry christmas!! Happy NGD as well 🙂
Carol