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The thing that worked for me was repetition on the strings: pushing past boredom for the reward of strength and flexibility on the other side. What I did not expect, practicing this, I was also training my ear without knowing it. This also meant that I would have to stop and stretch (silly putty stretching). My fingers were always strong enough it was precision and accuracy that allowed me to learn to play with barely touching a string to get the desired sound. Precision is key. Even in bar chords, once I became precise about applied pressure bar chords became easy. Most bar chords involve the bar on only three strings. Your other fingers hold down the three others. That realization came through repetition.