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Great comments from a lot of different sources. I’ve always had a problem holding onto the pick. The “recommended” way to hold the pick seems, to me, to be the thumb and index finger at an angle and to learn to hold the pick with a light grip.
Like a lot of you I was always having to adjust and reposition the pick. After many years of fighting this issue I purchased a few Dunlap Prime Tone 1.5, 1.0 and .75 large triangle style picks . The 1.5 I use regularly is huge and I use and thumb and 2, yes 2 fingers to hold the pick fairly firmly.
Because I mainly am a Hybrid style picker, which means that I use the pick for strums and also finger pick a lot while still holding the pick, I have learned to release the 2nd middle finger from the pick to do the finger picking or split double stop spaced string picking.
I have been doing this for almost a year now and have become comfortable with the dual style picking format and the thumb and 2 finger pick hold. No more uncomfortable picking holding issues.