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Thumb placement on the back of the neck also affects the angle of your wrist. I usually like to strum and pick, in practice sessions, with my right leg crossing my left knee and leaning back away from the guitar Face. I use a well supported office style chair with lumbar support and a head rest and the back of my head almost touching the adjustable head rest. The guitar position is at about a 30 degree and away from my stomach area. It is not flat up against my body.
I’m 6′ 2″ with fairly long arms. I am not bent over looking at the fret board, staining my upper shoulders. My arms and wrists are loose, not tense. My arm is coming over the fret board between the strap button area and the upper curve of the the top of the guitar high up on my forearm. My elbow is not touching the top of my guitar.
My pinky finger is either touching the guitar top or close to touching the top and moves with the rest of my hand when I am strumming chords lightly touch the guitar top. When needing to keep time that pinky will sometimes tap the guitar top for a light percussive tone. Almost all of my 4 and 5 fret barre chord thumb position is close to the middle of the neck back and when I fret past the 5th fret is slowly creeps down closer to the treble bottom of the neck
When I start practice my eyes are usually looking down at my guitar, just to orient all of the “working parts”, but soon as I start to get into a groove my head and upper body will start “dancing” and my left foot bobbing in time to the sounds. My eyes may be closed or slightly open.
One of the hardest things learning guitarist have to overcome is being self conscious of how you appear to others while playing. If you can overcome that it will loosen you up and allow you to play freely. I play a lot looser when not in front of other people. Still have to play a while to loosen up in front of folks
It all takes time and a heck of a lot of just getting used to playing guitar.