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Getting frustrated? Some humble advice to try
I posted this as a reply to a comment on a video where the poster mentioned they are so frustrated that they thought about quitting. I have pasted my humble advice here in the hopes it might help someone else feeling similar…
“So the thought of quitting means you are not playing to the level you want to yet, which is very relatable! But that “inner critic” is actually important and can be turned to good as its letting you know what you can improve. I know for me, frustration is usually the result of a mistake I made while playing, and usually its because I’m trying to do too much or play too fast without really having what I’m playing down solid or built up. Remember, practice makes PERMANENT, so if you are making mistakes, you are learning mistakes! So its VITAL to take everything that you are first learning so slow that you cannot learn a mistake. I cannot stress this enough. Take those playback videos and start on the lowest speed (to change the speed click the bottom right of the player where it says 1x to .5x) and play it. If you make a mistake, stop the playback, thinking about what caused the mistake, make the correction, and drill that section at least 5x’s perfect in a row. Then incorporate that section back into the full video. If you make a different mistake later in the video, do the same process of stopping, think about what caused the mistake, make the correction, and drill that section playing it at least 5x’s perfectly (I do 8x) and start again. Once you can play through the entire exercise 5xs in a row perfectly at this slow tempo, then up the tempo to the next level. If you make a mistake at this new speed, repeat the process above. Once you play it 5x’s in a row perfect at this new time, raise the tempo again, and repeat this process until you get it to the speed you want. Note, this process may not all occur in a single day or practice session, but might take weeks or months to get something up to the speed you want, but the important part is you are learning only what you want to play and not learning mistakes.
I know this sound tedious but frustration happens when we try to dive in at full speed and we make mistakes, and with the way the brain works, anything we play is now learned! So that mistake and the tension / frustration with it and is now inside us attached to this song / exercise. So again, I want to stress the importance of taking anything you learn as slow as you can where you do not make ANY mistakes and train your brain so the only way it can play this is correctly. Then SLOWLY over weeks / months build it up to the speed you want. Congratulations on recognizing that you are frustrated and choosing to continue, that is actually a BIG step. The next will be minimizing that frustration by learning things correctly and slowly. On a side note, the brain continues to work out problems even when you are done practicing, so its not unusual to struggle learning something one day, but the next when you come back to it its much easier! So dont let that frustration get you down, as it truly can be helpful if you direct it. I hope this helps!”
Hopefully that makes sense. If it does not reply here and I’ll try to explain it better. I believe I only have a few weeks left before my subscription runs out but I will keep checking this post until it does. Enjoy your journey!
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5 Replies
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I’ll add my 2 cents based on my personal experience. My frustration came from not being where I wanted to be based on the amount of time and practice I was putting in. Seemed like the more I practiced, the more frustrated I got. It was my last teacher who lifted the veil. From the very first lesson he could see I was frustrated, and not having any fun. He asked me why I wanted to play in the first place, and said you’re not having fun while playing, and you’ll probably end up giving up at some point. He said I’m striving for perfection, and I don’t have the skills yet, and this is where most of my frustration was coming from. He basically said “you need to be OK with sucking.” It’s OK to miss a chord, it’s OK to mute a string, it’s OK to be out of rhythm. Your a BEGINNER. He encouraged me to stop doing all my drills, and spend most of my time actually playing songs. No matter how bad I play them. Just have fun. This is really the reason we wanted to play right? To have fun? Well, my progress skyrocketed after that. Frustration only comes into play now when I can’t play. Never while playing anymore. Put the fun back into playing. You will improve.
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This reply was modified 4 months ago by Skyman911.
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That is also some great insight!! Thank you so much for sharing as this is something I’m sure a lot of us can relate to! The advice to remember to be ok with your skill level at the moment, knowing you will get better, but to also remember to HAVE FUN is valuable! Now of course this a double edge sword, as staying in your comfort zone and only playing songs or jamming only over blues progressions can be fun as well, and very few find struggling to grasp new concepts “fun.” So it cant be all fun. Like much of life its about finding the balance between challenging & growing your skills while still making sure to have fun and remember the reasons you picked up the guitar in the first place. I’m sure it wasn’t to learn scales and technical exercises! Which is a great reminder for me as this is what I do spend most of my time doing! This is why I’m trying to incorporate playing songs or jamming over chords as part of my practice, and saving this fun stuff for until the end after all my technical work. Thanks again for your experience and fantastic advice!
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This reply was modified 4 months ago by
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To both JT and Skyman–
In my pretty-much-unedu-macated opinion, BOTH of your posts are just plain, right-on.
My two-bits—– I spent a lot of time trying to be “perfect”, while not taking into account that I was (and still am for the most part), a beginner. Oh, I wanted to be something— and I wanted it now. What a mistake, because I could no way live up to my own un-realistic expectations. So of course this leads to frustration and disappointment. And the cycle repeats, because for the most part, I was “practicing” the wrong way to learn; engraining really bad habits and methods into my brain.
I just got a book called “The Practice of Practice”. Wow what an eye-opener, and I’m still in the early chapters. (Not tryin’ to sell you a book here, it’s just about learning the right way/ not searing those bad habits into your brain).
I finally had to come to three main focus(es)—– 1. Play for fun. 2. Realize that it’s OK to be bad- (that’s actually how you learn the most) / and 3. KEEP IT SIMPLE.
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We live in world where we are spoiled with instant gratification. If we want something, we can order it on Amazon and have it on our doorstep (sometimes with same-day delivery). Wanna hear a song? We can pull it up immediately on a streaming service.
Learning a new skill is one thing we can’t just “acquire” without actual effort, and I think that can be frustrating when we are used to getting so many things with little effort.
Yes, starting from scratch is definitely daunting at first, but I guarantee it gets so much better and more enjoyable quickly. You will learn something new each day and it keeps building more and more. I would encourage anyone who feels intimidated to hang in there and just keep at it. The payoffs start to come in waves, and no you won’t be a master quickly, but the journey is so great.
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This reply was modified 4 months ago by MattTX_24. Reason: Grammar
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This reply was modified 4 months ago by
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Matt– Well said.
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