Rob, I am sorry you’ve had such a difficult time lately. Don’t let it be the reason you give up. It will get better.
No one is “very good” when they are just starting out. Every single person learning something new struggles to grasp that new concept. Compare yourself to yourself. To how much you’ve learned since you started. Celebrate the little wins as much as the big wins. These wins start to add up and grow. All of a sudden, ‘things’ click into place and the lessons get easier.
If you could have someone read the notes to you and record it at the speed you wish to play – use a voice recording app that usually comes installed on your phone or computer – and play it on repeat. Start slowly, and build up the tempo.
I wish you all the best,
Jeanine