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Hi Amanda – As JohnV stated, use whichever finger gets you to where you’re going. However, two things. 1) We often find that having the pinky free is beneficial for playing the high e string in accompaniment of a chord; 2) Learn the correct way and alternate ways of forming chords and use whichever one fits into a progression and allows you to move between chords the fastest. An example of this is how we play the A major chord. There are multiple finger positionings that can be used.
I often thought my hands were too small and I could stretch between frets. You’ll be surprised over time at how limber your hands and fingers become and the stretch you can get. I suggest taking the stretching course that is found in the skills section too. It is beneficial to stretch before and after playing, and it will help with those large stretches between frets. You can also capo to a higher fret (such as the 5th string) and practice from that point, because the frets are much closer and it’s much easier to stretch between them.