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First, I have always believed that the best performances come from memory. (Not many pros fuss with a music stand on stage.) Granted many performers use electronic lyric displays that line the floor behind monitor speakers, but few rely on them.
Second, I have been playing long enough that once a key has been established I can “hear” (maybe that means “guess”) what the next chord in a sequence will be. This means I can usually ignore chord sheets when I am rehearsing and focus on the lyrics. Once you know how the various chords in a family (I mean, key) sound in relation to each other it can be relatively easy to figure out the correct chord in a new song. I think the notion of getting caught up in the music is pretty much about hearing the next chord and shaping it almost automatically. I suspect that many TACers who rely on chord sheets would be surprised at how successful they could be playing by ear. Try something like Wagon Wheel (I think it’s in G) and shift to start on an C chord and see if you can guess the chord sequence.
Once I have the key and a pretty good sense of the chords I need, I just play the song lots of times. When I trip up on lyrics, I try to make a mental picture that leads from the line I know to the next line. When I feel pretty confident, I will sometimes practice in the dark so I get comfortable working ‘without a net’.
Finally, I should confess that I started playing and singing a few songs in my twenties; that I learned some music theory from an older sibling long before TAC; and that I will celebrate my eighth TACaversery and my 72nd birthday this next week. Bottom line: play stuff that gives you joy every day.