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Can Anyone Else Relate?
For years (at least 40 of them) I thought it would be nice to hear someone tell me I was a gifted musician/singer. Well, it finally happened. I thanked the person and said “it was a lot of work”. They persisted with the notion of me being “gifted”. I never imagined I would feel so annoyed. How dare they not acknowledge the 10s of thousands of hours I’ve spent practicing! I am not gifted. I’ve worked hard to get where I am, especially since breaking both wrists (and a whole bunch of other bones) and having to re-learn almost everything. Has anyone else ever had this or something similar happen to them and how did you react?
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9 Replies
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Hi @GuitarGeni Even gifted players have to spend hour upon hour learning and practicing. I heard Tommy Emmanuel say that he learned the same way everyone else does and he has to breakdown songs into small sections to learn them. He has spent 100’s of thousands of hours practicing and playing, but there is no denying that he is extremely gifted at his craft. Others that have spent 10000 hours practicing, as you have, may be better or worse. If someone hears your playing as a gift, then just accept it and say thank you. They don’t need to know the pain, journey, or details of how you got to that point. Feel good that you’ve given them something they enjoyed.
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Thanks for your perspective. I guess I just expected that a comment like that would feel better than it did. The truth is, I’ve been getting a lot of positive comments recently, so I guess it shows my hard work HAS paid off.
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That is a really interesting thought. There are obviously some people who have a natural aptitude towards certain skills, be that maths, languages or music. It probably comes easier to them but the ‘exceptional’ childhood musical prodigies are really just that; the exception. For the rest of us it is thousands of hours of training our fingers to do what we want them to do.
So I guess what prickled you was the thought that this person just assumed you had a gift which meant you had it easy in playing and they didn’t recognise the sheer hard work and persistence. Well I would definitely take that as a compliment. If your work has been so successful that someone has mistaken it for an almost otherworldly talent then WOW has the practice paid off. You will still have the genuine respect of the guitarists around you who know this ‘gift’ came from sheer work and determination, but that work has created a mystique among non musicians that you have a talent normal people cannot achieve. Your gift is persistence.
As an aside when I was a teen I actually learnt specific ‘easy’ but very fast riffs to sound better than I was on keyboards so I could get into bands until my actual skills caught up. I was faking ‘gifted’ and it worked too well as I got called in for a show I simply couldn’t play and had to back out rather ungracefully. Good life lesson! After that I recognised my limitations, put in the hours and have had a great musical life ever since. Enjoy the journey 🤟😎🎸
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Thanks for your reply. This really helped me see it from the listener’s perspective instead of my own. You’re right, other musicians will have and idea of how much time and effort it took to get here, but a regular listener has NO IDEA of how much effort goes into being a musician. I think you’re right that I became annoyed because the word “gifted” seems to come with the connotation “easy or effortless”. It’s neither.
I appreciate you sharing your story of “faking giftedness”. It is indeed a valuable lesson as we take the journey. 🎸
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Please take it as the compliment it was intended to be. Most of us wish we were good enough for someone to call us gifted. Hopefully the thousands of hours have been a joyous journey resulting in such beautiful and seamless play that you make it look easy. 🙂
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Yes is relate strongly @GuitarGeni , I have what I would say is average (not great but not horrible) natural talent. What I got instead of “gifted” talent was tons of determination. The outside world does not differential between the two. I think musicians themselves can see and do talk about the the differences. When I ever get mistaken for having a musical gift I just smile and say thanks, it is usually non musical people who say it. I am okay with that, it validates my determination but they don’t need to know.
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Just echoing the comments already here, @GuitarGeni but yes, please please take this as a very well meaning comment. Non musicians don’t realize this kind of statement as a potential annoyance, they just truly appreciate the level of play and they are using words that show they perceive your music is coming across as “effortless”.
I would take it as a very nice compliment. Your years of hard work, diligence and persistence have brought you to a well earned level of play that others perceive as effortless. You alone know how difficult it’s been to get to this point, so you alone might smile and receive a really great pat on the back!! Big Win 🏆award to ya!!
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Yes, I have had this happen to me. Not with my guitar playing but with other avenues in my life. You get the ‘you are so lucky’, ‘your a natural’, blah blah blah.
It’s not luck and it’s not a gift. It’s hard work and perseverance that got you to the point you are today. I was explaining to a friend, all the work and time it took to get to a higher level of achievement. The come back was ‘oh, I have a life’. Believe me @GuitarGeni,I know just how you feel.
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