TAC Family Forums

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  • N-lightMike

    Member
    January 17, 2023 at 12:11 pm

    Let’s get this straight, @mcarlson_sb , it’s not simply ok to practice. You have a God given right to enjoy your life your way… as long as you consider other people.

    However, a child doesn’t know how to apply the principle of being considerate of other people. So obviously, you needed an adult to help you out. You made it very clear what kind of “help” you received when you said:

    “It was drilled into me as a child that listening to a beginner practice an instrument was an awful experience. That yes, I should practice but I need to find a way not to be heard. And.Not.To.Bother.People.”

    LET’S GET THIS STRAIGHT: THIS IS CHILD ABUSE. IF YOUR PARENT OR PARENTS ARE STILL ALIVE, YOU SHOULD TELL THEM HOW WRONG THEY WERE.

    This was never supposed to be on you. It was up to your parents to find a solution to this problem. They were not supportive of you and your God given desire to cultivate your musical creativity.

    LET’S GET THIS STRAIGHT: NOW THAT YOU’RE AN ADULT, IT’S ON YOU!

    That doesn’t make it easy to overcome such thoughts. These “guiding principles” that are encoded in childhood are difficult to see and even harder to re-write. My suggestion is affirmations. Say, over and over, “I am allowed to practice my music”. Or write it down a hundred times. Write it on the mirror you look into every morning. Write a song about it. But then you might want to add a few more ideas.

    1st, some people are supportive. Some people are supportive but work graveyard, or have to get up early, or are trying to finish a report, etc. Ok, you need to make sure you are not being inconsiderate to those who are supportive but have special needs at a given time and place.

    2nd, some people are not supportive. We may think of them as musical grinches, but they have the right to be that way. So, again, give them the space they require.

    3rd, you have the right to cultivate this ability, music, that was given to you by your creator. Play. Practice. Record. Play in front of others as often as you can. Experiment with playing for others who want to hear. Experiment with playing for others who DON’T want to hear.

    Here are some suggestions:

    1) Go into a music store and pick up a guitar. Then make noise, as much as you can bring yourself to make. No, not something you have learned that sounds good. Try your best to be obnoxious. I’m dead serious. And watch the people around you to see their reactions. No matter how obnoxious you manage to be, some people will still be supportive. That’s how you learn it’s NOT YOU, BUT THEM, when people are being musical grinches.

    2) Go to justmusicgeeks.com to request to join. When you do, get on the forum and find the calendar listings of Virtual Open Mics and join one to watch. At some point, play for the people there. They will all be supportive no matter what you can do or how many mistakes you make or how nervous you are.

    3) Go to a live Open Mic in your area or find a Jam Group in your area and join in. You can go to observe at first without playing. Pretty much everyone there will totally understand your initial qualms about playing in front of others as this is so universal.

    Let us know how your progress goes.

    MG 😀