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Hello again, Matthew @mcarlson_sb .
I went to your profile page and found this:
“I want to learn to play music.
I’ve tried before but it the practice pieces never SOUND like music. They sound rough and painful or incomplete.
The closest I’ve come to fun is being able to play some basic finger style rifs”
It seems to me your practice sounds rough and painful is because of “self fulfilling prophecy”. You were told as a child that you sound terrible and you believed that. So, you are making it true.
As I said in my first post, your biggest obstacle now is your own thoughts and feelings. I made the suggestion to use affirmations. I stick with that. However, I want to add something else.
You need to be TOTALLY OK WITH SOUNDING TERRIBLE. You, Matthew. You need to be totally ok with your own sound even if it’s “rough and painful or incomplete”. In fact, you need to LOVE YOUR OWN SOUND, no matter what it is.
Also, you need to learn that others can be totally ok with your sounding terrible. You said your wife is wonderful and supportive and likes to listen to you practice. So, talk to her and find out why. Is it because she knows that everyone starts out not sounding very good and she’s ok with that? Or is it because you are ACTUALLY WRONG about sounding terrible? This problem could be easier to overcome if you are misjudging your playing and practicing. Now, I think that’s very possible given what you were told as a child.
I want to repeat what I said: What you were told as a child regarding practicing music was CHILD ABUSE. I am not kidding or exaggerating. The problem now is that you are perpetuating this abuse. Learn to love and comfort your “inner child”. Again, I’m not kidding or exaggerating. You need to stop this abuse you have suffered for so long.
Is this easy? No! I have had my own struggles with abusive self doubts. I have come a long way but I am taking your issue so personally because I still have more to go in dealing with “unfair” self thoughts.
MG 😀