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Draft Original – “Tell Me More”
2nd draft of a new original “Tell Me More”. Its based on an encounter I had with an older gentleman at a little coffee shop. I spent some time rewriting today. I tend to have very dense lyrics (ie too many words) and trying to practice trimming down lyrics while keeping the message I was hoping to convey. I did some research and l looked at one of John Prine’s songs that I thought had a lot of lyrics like “Hello In There” which had about 256 words. My first cut at my song had 389! So I chopped and reordered 2-3 times. This version is about 250 ~ about a 35% reduction and I think keeps the story in tact. Still a rough work in progress. Anyway – just a little song writing “lessons learned” I thought I would share.
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9 Replies
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This was awesome @TMutter . You’re such a great story teller, and I can totally picture you having this conversation with the gentleman in the coffee shop.
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Thanks Loraine – truth is I was kind of irritated for awhile and the more I listened the more I realized he had nobody to talk to. Unfortunately I think there a lot of people out there like him.
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TMutter, Wow!! loved it. Thank’s for sharing your process to get to this moment. Great story telling, guitar playing and wonderful voice. Congratulations!!
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Thanks for listening Tom – would not have been traveling down this road without TAC!
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That was great @TMutter 👏👏👏 “Really Truly”👍👍 A great story done with excellent playing and tender vocals🤩🤩 You created a “mood” with this Terry, which is what makes for a great performance😎
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Oh thanks for the wonderful comments Bill – I am still messing with the structure but I do enjoy playing it. It is very relaxing.
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Very nice @TMutter Like your original very much! 😊😊😊😊😎
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Thanks Marty, still “tuning it up” 😆
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Awesome storyteller. It must be very hard to cut words from a song called, “Tell Me More!” 😄 It’s actually always hard to condense lyrics, so congratulations on this awesome work in progress. 👍🏼
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