Tony’s Acoustic Challenge – The New Way to Learn Guitar › Family Forums › Community Support › Overwhelmed Beginner
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Overwhelmed Beginner
Posted by kirk62 on December 19, 2023 at 6:23 pmAt the young age of 61 I decided to do something I’ve always wanted to do – play the guitar. A friend of mine told me about TAC and it sounded like it was the lessons I was looking for. I’ve only been at it for a week but I already feel I’m in way over my head. I already feel “stuck.” For example, today I was introduced to the C Chord in the 30 day challenge and after an hour of trying, I was not able to make the chord. I couldn’t place my fingers so that I got the clean, crisp chords you want. In the video, Tony said there was an “easy fix” to what was causing my problem, but it didn’t help me. I’m not sure what to do at this point. Do I just forge ahead with the 30 days of lessons, not even getting close to completing the previous lessons successfully, or do I keep trying the lessons until I “get it right” before going forward. Also, I don’t seem to be retaining anything I’ve learned after completing a lesson. Any words of wisdom that will keep me going?
KayMesser replied 1 year, 1 month ago 15 Members · 28 Replies -
28 Replies
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Hi Kirk,
I will give it a try to share some of my personal wisdom 🙂
Of course it is hard to tell what’s going wrong with your C-chord without seeing you doing it. Also as I am with 43 years a bit younger, I have no clue what struggles older hands have to fight to get them on the right spots of the fretboard. But we have a lot of people at your age here in the community who might understand your situation better and give better advice.
I think important is to take it easy! It is your personal journey and however long it takes to be satisfied with your C-chord or whatever comes next, take your time and try to have fun and just trust in the process of steady practice. It will take time, but it will become better. Just don’t hesitate to move worward. I made that mistake a few times when I was doing other online courses, that I hesitated to move on to new things and leaving my comfort zone of repeating the same things over and over. Of course it is also nice to just have fun with an easy song you already can play through, but it won’t help you that much to get better over time.
If you are fed up with practicing the C-chord just move on and try new things. Even without practicing that particular thing, you will get better, you will figure out issues and once you come back to trying that thing, you may encounter that all of a sudden you can do it way better.
Do the 30 days to play as recommended by Tony and move on. That would be my advice. You can come back to it any time. Moreover, many of the daily challenges involve the C-chord, so you won’t miss practicing it once you move on to the daily challenges.
When I started with TAC I had some previous experinece with other free online course (probably THE most well known free course). It might help you as well to have a look at those and see what they offer and maybe you figure out whats wrong, or find other ways to practice. Also don’t hesitate to ask your friend who recommended TAC to you. She/He may have a look at your playing and fix things together with you.
And don’t forget to have fun! You did yourself a great favor to enjoy to make some music on your own!
Cheers Markus
P.S.: It may also be worth to either have a look at your guitar setup or even try some other guitars as not every guitar is suited best for everyone especially as a beginner. Chances are that you pick a guitar with other geometrical specs that just suits you better. That may make things a bit easier and less frustrating. But I am sure as long as you stick to it, you will arrange with your current guitar as well. It might just take a bit longer.
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Hi Kirk,
Speaking as a 76 year old, and also new to TAC(6 months} it does take some time to get the fingers to do what our brains want them to do! The stretching exercises help a lot. I only recently broke through being able to play along with Tony at normal speed on twelve Bar Blues. Most important for me was to not beat myself up when I didn’t get it. Have FUN!!!
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Hi Kirk,
I was editing my comment when the whole thing disappeared and there is no back arrow to restore it.
I’m 57, and just started 2 days ago. The fingering is not completely foreign to me as I used to play violin, but the wider neck and fretboard with added strings makes it challenging with my small hands. I was having problems with hand and wrist cramping, and I also have to be careful not to aggravate an old left shoulder injury.
I would recommend going to youtube and looking up “hand (or wrist) proper position on guitar”. There are several good videos on there, and you can watch the thumb and wrist movement as they play different chords. I found that to be very helpful. I would recommend watching more than one, because there are some slight variations that might come in handy for you.
Also, I stumbled on a video about neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to learn something new). Basically one way to trigger the plasticity is to try a balance exercise before you begin playing new things or skills on the guitar. It could be as simple as standing on one foot for a few minutes, but you want the balance exercise to be difficult enough that the brain is triggered to understand it needs to learn something. You can spend 5 minutes on that, and then start playing the guitar. You will find that the learning is easier after doing this. I’ve just started listening to the Huberman podcasts on spotify (he is the one that did the studies on neuroplasticity). I’m hoping to learn some more information.
Hope this helps! 🙂
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Kirk–
First off– Welcome!
I hear you completely about the difficulty of “getting started”. You are asking your hands, eyes, and brain to do things they never have.
You have already gotten some GREAT suggestions– (doing the stretches- (VERY important!), focusing on FUN, maybe having your guitar “checked out”, moving-on in the hope that it will be easier when you come back to it, etc, etc). Again, great suggestions, all. And…… they ALL work……..
Here’s my two-cents if I may.
Instead of just doing some stretches, also, warm your hands up somehow- (temperature-wise). And– “shake them out” every few minutes to help get that cramping-tension out when it starts to come on.
Also maybe- instead of just trying to “land” a C-chord out of the blue- (or maybe worse– working and working like crazy to get your fingers in just the right place when they are sore and cramping)- try going “TO” that C-chord FROM a different, maybe similar, chord. Focusing on the TRANSITION to the C. Maybe try going from an A-minor chord TO the C-chord. Your fingers are already right there in the neighborhood, an easy move gets you there.
Try different adjustments to your hand-position– see what works best for YOU.
Also, DON’T think you have to squeeze the life out of your guitar neck. Making a chord is MUCH easier if you don’t have a death-grip on the fretboard.
Lastly— be patient with yourself. We have ALL been where you are right now. Your issues are temporary, and you WILL get thru them.
Remember— if it was “too easy”, you would not get the personal satisfaction of learning something difficult– that deep, inner, personal, enjoyment is coming your way!
You are now on a journey! Don’t focus on the destination….. make sure to take in the sights along the way!
Sorry for this long-winded reply……….
theoldcoach
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Hey Mark @the-old-coach ;
These are some really good specific suggestions. You well know the power of the forum if we participate by asking questions and replying to the questions of others.
So, @kirk62 ;
I responded to your overall frustration. I did not give you any help with the specific problem of learning a C chord.
I felt that you needed to have a different outlook so you would keep going and the C chord would happen eventually.
However, if you want specific advice on how to work on the C chord or any other chord, start another thread and ask that question specifically. I’d love to help.
MG 😀
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I started my guitar journey at 61 as well. I’m 7 months in and am just now feeling like I can play the guitar.
I had tried a year ago and lasted about 30 days because I was frustrated. This time around I’ve changed my mindset. I am going to suck, I’m going to suck for a long time. It might be years before I can play the guitar like I want to and that is OK.
It took me 6 months to feel like I “got” the C chord and even then there are days where I struggle with it. Don’t feel like you have to perfect anything. Just give it a good try and then move on, to the next thing. It’s also OK that you aren’t retaining what you learned as it will come around again and it will come a little bit quicker the next time.
Most important, don’t get frustrated.
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Thanks for sharing your experience, @Moose408 . We’ve all experienced much the same things along our journey. It really helps others, even those who’ve been at it longer, when we share what we’ve been through. 😉
MG 😀
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I started at 60, now 64. It takes time, practice and persistence. Don’t give up, the journey is well worth it!
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@kirk62, like many that posted before me, many of us are in the same boat. I started at 59 and I am three years into my journey. I can’t top any of the great advice already given, and I agree with the previous posters. All I can say is just commit to playing everyday. Even if you get frustrated. The commitment will get you through. The C chord is still hard for me to get clean everytime as well.
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Thanks to all the great suggestions and words of encouragement. I didn’t think this would be a cake walk but I guess I underestimated the difficulty. I’m used to using my hands and sometimes having my fingers in strange positions (I’m a veterinarian and do a lot of surgery) but trying to straddle my fingers across the frets has been a lot more difficult than I was expecting.
I’m going to stick with it, do the lessons each day, and then see where I am in a few months. I’ll try not to get frustrated as I have been these first 2 weeks.
Thanks again to all who replied.
KIrk
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You young whippersnappers are so impatient!
Seriously, Tony mentioned in a recent challenge that when things feel challenging and you feel like you aren’t able to do it – that is when you are learning.
I have to remind myself of that every day. It takes me longer than most to get things.
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I love your comment @Timbothirroul . You followed the KISS rule. Very simple. When it’s tough, that’s when you’re learning. Oh, and make sure we keep reminding ourselves. Always good advice. Thanks.
MG 😀
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57 yrs young here. I took some private lessons a couple of years ago, but only for 6 months or so. I have retained very little, but decided I want to give this a go again, so after a couple of years of not touching the guitar, I’m back. I’m on week one of the 30 days to play. I think a lot of you have answered my main question. I have run through the three blues lessons several times and it is very slow and inconsistent, but it sounds like I should just move on to week 2 when I’m at day 8 of my journey. How often should I revisit the week 1 material? Every time I pull out the guitar, once a week, or other?
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This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by
Lfoot.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by
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One more thing. You may want to try learning on a smaller guitar, or an electric guitar, which is much easier on the left hand because the neck is either smaller or the strings are easier to hold down.
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Self diagnosing what is not working will be part of what you learn, not because it is specifically taught but because you will gain hours and hours of experience. Take as much time as you need to be satisfied with an effort. A mental process, for example: Have i been focused and giving me best effort over the last 10 min. You gain more experience the time frame will extend. Try your best to focus on your effort vs. what the results of your efforts are. This is a practice and a mindset. The difficult part of learning a tough instrument is the dopamine rewards are fewer in the beginning when the beginner would benefit from them and in a weird twist come later when your finger tips have connected to your brain. Today I may go weeks without a break through. Dissecting and working and reworking a particular new technique or rhythmic pattern has been my path to success. It is only with the beneficial mental frame that I can suffer/rejoice at the repetition. I am not a gifted player. When I suffer it the interval for improvement is longer than when I rejoice in the repetition understanding that as long as bring the effort the result will take care of itself…and never in the time I thought it should take. : ) One last thought. When I get stuck the solution or desired skill does not get better slowly, it usually happen in less than a minute. Couldn’t do it for weeks and then BAMSAM! I can do it at will. Happy playing…keep us posted on your progress….every one of us has been exactly where you are, we are with you.
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Always love to read your take on things, @jumpinjeff . I left a reply below if you care to check it out. Take care my friend.
MG 😀
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Well, @kirk62 ;
I have spent some time already today leaving comments on other threads. So, when I saw that you had quite a few responses, I thought I’d give it a pass. But, I decided to share your post with my wife since this is the perfect example of how people respond when they first come to TAC.
I was just sharing with her about my learning the TAC method over the last 4 1/2 years. I didn’t understand at first and felt exactly like you do. Slowly but surely more and more of the “idea” sank into my think skull with the help of others like @jumpinjeff and @the-old-coach . I don’t mean to leave anyone else out, I just didn’t take the time to read all the comments since I’ve already spent so much time on the forum today. But, I saw their names and always like reading their comments.
Anyway, what I said to my wife moved me to want to say it to you. Let me continue, first, with the “back story”. As I started to explain, I was telling my wife about my own journey of discovering how this all works. Though I had gotten far better at guitar, had had numerous discussions with other TAC members here on the forum, it was still difficult to find the words since all of this is so counter intuitive.
But recently, I actually read the 2 of the books that Tony based his TAC method on: Atomic Habits, by James Clear and Grit by Amanda Duckworth. Those books helped me to see the science all of this is based on and I became more convinced than ever this is the “right” way to learn guitar.
So what is that? Why did I read my wife your comment? Because we adults forget how to have fun like a kid. It’s really that simple. A kid doesn’t complete a lesson successfully in the way you described; he doesn’t “get it right”. He doesn’t care. The kid doesn’t retain anything he’s been learning. But he simply doesn’t care. So why does the kid keep going? And perhaps even more important, why does the kid keep getting better?
This is so simple. The kid keeps coming back BECAUSE HE’S HAVING FUN!!! I’m not kidding you, it’s that stupidly simple.
Ok, but why does the kid keep getting better? This is so simple it’s trite. The kid keeps getting better BECAUSE HE KEEPS COMING BACK!!!
Tony read these books about how we learn and how we can be successful. He decided to quite face to face instruction and create a guitar learning site that used these principles. You can read these books for yourself, or you can “trust the process”. But here’s the bottom line.
You have joined a site that teaches guitar based on scientific research about how we learn and how we are successful. What do you have to do to benefit from this?
Ok here’s the “secret”. Have fun. Log in tomorrow and “try” to do the lesson and HAVE FUN. STOP trying to do the lesson well. It doesn’t matter. It takes time. You’re NOT gonna do it well at first. So STOP IT!!
Instead, find something in the lesson that is fun and focus on that. And maybe notice something you could improve upon and write that down so you can work on it the next day before moving on. Or not. But move on.
Have fun and keep exposing yourself to guitar challenges and you will get better. Oh, and remember the first part? Have fun? If you do that, you’re having fun in the mean time so it doesn’t matter that you’re not doing it well or that it takes time to learn. Just have fun and keep coming back.
Will you get better? Yes, lots of members to prove that point. Will you eventually start understanding more and therefore retain more of what you learned? Yes, lots of member to prove that point.
So, the main secret? Have fun. The secondary secret? Keep coming back. The tertiary secret? Stop any type of judging or measuring or even thinking. Just play.
If you can remember how to be a kid, you will learn guitar and have fun doing it. It took a lot of scientists and a lot of clinical studies to figure out what the kids knew all along. Go figure. Just remember how to be a kid and you got this.
MG 😀
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I appreciate your experience and insight, Mike. I’m making my way through the 30 days. I’m not really retaining much right now but I hope persistence and consistency will eventually make everything click. And I’m looking forward to learning how to play something that is familiar (and that I can play it so that it’s recognizable). We’ll see how it goes . . .
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I too am working my way through the 30 day challenge. Now 29 days in and working on week 4. Not retaining much but along with each day’s lesson and practice, I go back and review some previous lesson(s) and making progress there too. Having fun with it. Actually yearning to spend time with my guitar each day, even though some days I have to push to get to it.
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Hey @Adventure_Girl ;
Thanks for leaving a reply to the comments. You said:
“Having fun with it. Actually yearning to spend time with my guitar each day, even though some days I have to push to get to it.”
See, that’s simple, but it’s also effective. Having fun is it’s own reward. Getting better over time is a bonus. The hardest we ever have to work is that last part, “some days I have to push to get to ‘it'”. What’s it? Having fun. So sometimes we just don’t connect to the fun we’ve had in the previous days and we have to “push”. But then guess what? We “get to it”, the fun. We still have fun.
Over time, “actually yearning to spend time with (our) guitar” happens more often, more consistently.
Your comment, Adventure_Girl, is exactly why this is the best method of learning guitar. It works with our emotional make up, not against it.
Hey @kirk62 , I hope you came back and read Adventure_Girl’s comment.
MG 😀
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Mike–
This latest post of yours is great! You have applied it to guitar, but I think it generally applies to most any king of learning.
As a young-kids-up-to-18-or-so baseball/softball coach for a few years, I always tried to remember that I ONLY really had two jobs…… Period.
1. Teach the kids the fundamentals- (just so they had some kind if idea what they were doing!).
2. MAKE SURE they always had fun in the process….. the BIGGEST goal….. is to make sure they all want to COME BACK the next year…….. mainly because it was FUN.
That was pretty-much “it”.
(The actual “unspoken, behind the scenes” goal was to make them better- and then hand them off to other coaches as they get older and move on “up”. Our little town of Montesano has many, MANY fastpitch softball State Titles as a result of literally decades of this coaching philosophy. Hundreds of coaches thru all the years– same philosophy).
Well, nowadays, for me, it’s guitar.
The longer I stay “in”, the more fundamentals I learn. The more I learn, the “better” I get. The better I get , the more satisfaction I get out of it. The more satisfaction I get out of it, the more fun I have with it…… up and up……
(quote from your post)—- “the main secret? Keep coming back. The secondary secret? Have fun.”
Yup—- that.
TOC
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Hey Mark @the-old-coach ;
You said:
“Our little town of Montesano has many, MANY fastpitch softball State Titles as a result of literally decades of this coaching philosophy. Hundreds of coaches thru all the years– same philosophy.”
This is proof that this method works. None of the kids are going to apply themselves hard enough to win a State Title unless they are “having fun”. They have to “want it” badly enough to come back every day, listen to the coach, be willing to make adjustments, and work hard. The motivation isn’t the “goal” of winning a State Title. Everyone one has that “goal”, but only one team reaches that “goal”. The motivation is the sheer joy of playing, and playing well. Of improving and feeling that rush when you realize you’ve gotten better. It’s self feeding. Just like you said.
This method has been used forever for kids. We adults have “forgotten” how to be kids, so we have trouble using this method. But it works. The proof is all around us.
MG 😀
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Mike–
You have NAILED it.
I had a nice post about this subject and in reply to your post here, took ~10 mins to compose.
POOF……… GONE……….. the PINK SCREEN OF DEATH……… Aaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh……
Why?????????
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HaHaHa, Mark @the-old-coach , I feel your pain. I have allowed the limitations of this platform to irritate me so badly that I have all but quit participating in the TAC forums. But I’m the loser when I respond like that. Besides, I need to learn to handle disappointment better. In fact, that is a song topic I need to cover.
One trick I do now is to copy what I’ve written onto my clipboard. Then if I lose it, it’s easy to just paste it back in and re-post it.
MG 😀
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Good thought, there.
That IS one thing I think I can figure out how to do.
I’ll do a test run….
The pink screen of death reminds me of the “red light/ green light” thing when getting off a plane, entering Mexico…….. Been there 4 times thru the years, I think I’m 3 out of 4— red lights.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by
the-old-coach.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by
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Kirk,
There are many folks who have given wonderful advice.
I just wanted to say that I had a similar experience to you when starting to play guitar. It was nearly impossible for me to hold a chord and I would have to use my right hand to pick up my left fingers and place them on the frets. It gets better.
I worked on single notes for a bit to get my fingers used to holding down a fret. I then focused on the E Minor chord (two fingers), E Major, A Minor, & A Major. You can do a lot with just those chords to start getting your fingers used to being on the guitar.
I had to repeat the 30 Days to Play a few rounds as well. I find that I’m a slower learner and I do struggle with a lot of lessons. I focus most of my “wins” and “goals” on simply to still be playing & not giving up. After a year and a half I’m still so glad I picked up the guitar. Others may play lots of songs, but I’m thankful that my basic skills have me practicing something I’ve always wanted to learn.
Good luck and keep at it.
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